Ten years old. That’s how old my youngest son will be this month. His birthday month is the same month of Autism Awareness. So it’s always a reminder for me to stop, count our blessings, assess our progress, and acknowledge our continued current and future challenges. Honoring one without the other, is like taking away a part of what makes our family authentic.
Our Exceptional Needs Family’s Blessings
When I look back over the last ten years and compare them to where we are now—wow! This year, after being shipped to eight different educational settings since PreK, including three special needs schools, my son’s now FINALLY in our community school with his neighborhood peers. After years of hard work, he’s on grade level in both reading and math and receiving little outside ESE Services, because he no longer qualifies.
After six years in intensive behavior therapy which filled his afternoons, he’s now attending our local community aftercare program. There he plays with his peers and also receives occupational therapy and social skills with both neurotypical and neurodiverse peers. He’s also in his first sport! At the community center, he takes karate and last week, he proudly earned his orange belt.
Our family life has also changed. For most of my son’s young ten years, we couldn’t leave the house. We couldn’t go out to dinner. We couldn’t hang out with friends. And if we did, we would be constantly worried about elopement. We’d have to bring my son’s food as his diet was self-restricted. And his little shelf life was so short that often, drive times were longer than we could be gone.
Now, he’s pretty close to being able to find something off of any kids’ menu to enjoy. And as long as he has a preferred item, he’s pretty good to chillax at a restaurant, friend’s home, the local arcade, and he’s, for the first time, enjoying going to the movies! (Minecraft, anyone!)
His Progress
If above didn’t highlight it enough, I’ll dive deeper here. For the first time, my autistic son has neurotypical and neurodiverse peers who they make plans independently of me, schedule Facetimes, ask parents for hang-outs, invite each other to birthday parties, and more. Just two years ago, my son had little to no friends. Now, he has a full social schedule and friends who he adores and who adore him in return.
Academically, as mentioned above, for the first time, he’s on grade level in reading and math. When the ESE specialist at his school assessed him, she told me, “I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is your son is losing some of his ESE services. The good news is your son is losing some of his ESE services.” To hear my son, who, in addition to ADHD and ASD, also has an Intellectual Disability, is ON GRADE LEVEL in reading and math was mind-blowing. I never doubted him, but I also never wanted to put pressure on him. But here he is, defying the odds—again!
And I really want to highlight independent functioning as well. Two years ago, toileting was a constant challenge. I won’t go into the specifics, but autism parents know. Today, my son can independently toilet and follow all the steps so he now doesn’t have to manage the embarrassing moments of needing help any longer.
Our Current and Future Challenges
As much as my autistic son and our entire family has overcome, we still have current and future challenges. And it’s okay to also talk about those.
Most recently, the little man is teetering the fence between child and tween and wants to test out some of those limits with mom, dad, peers, teachers, and counselors. Bro, you aren’t there yet! We’ve got your back, but you’re still a kid and need the guidance of the adults in your life to get you across that finish line.
While he’s on grade level, he hovers at the bottom, even when he tries his hardest. His handwriting is still pretty illegible, and fine and gross motor skills are still a challenge. Luckily, he has a team of OTs who are helping him on all those fronts. He’ll get there; it’s just on his time.
Luckily, he’s in a school that goes to 8th grade. I’m nervous about where he goes next? Will the local high school and its student body be as welcoming as his current peers? I don’t know. I suppose we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.
Final Thoughts
Little B, you aren’t so little anymore. We’ll call you B Man now! In honor of Autism Awareness Month, I want you to know I couldn’t be more proud. You are the person you were meant to be. I’m privileged to be your mother. You’ve taught me more about compassion, empathy, and patience than I ever expected. I can’t wait to see what you accomplish in the next ten years! I’ll be the one cheering and crying on the sidelines!
Love,
Mom
Below, here is a glimpse at what autism looks like. Even though we have differences, it looks pretty darned normal. Guess what, autism is normal. Different, but normal. XOXO Happy Autism Awareness Month from my family to yours!
Big Abilities 
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